Saturday, 8 November 2014

I ache to do something more with my life...

This is an unashamedly, totally Fibro/ME post... perhaps because I want people to get some idea of how I feel, personally.
I've been pushing myself recently, to finish some small craft projects, I've also taken it upon myself to create some items for friends and family... adding to the work load and stress and I answered several pleas for creative help, when perhaps I should've said no. 
The upshot of all of this... I'm now depleted, miserable, my pain relief is non-existant because I've got out of my routine, my ME is running riot and to top it all I've been snappy and totally unbearable to live with (when I've been awake)... that calls for a deep sigh!

As most Fibro and ME sufferers are aware, pacing oneself is key to getting through any day. This is easier said than done, especially if you're having a 'good' day. Having a good day means waking up with at least some resemblance of energy, not waking up feeling as though you've got full blown flu, with motivation and pain levels at a workable level. 
Because these days are few and far between, when they appear most sufferers make the most of them, joyful that they feel 'normal' and determined to make the most of such a gift.
This is 'living' not pacing and nearly always results in at least 2-4 days of intense pain, sleep problems and numerous other conditions careering out of control.

One of my dilemmas is that I'm the only one that drives... so if we're going out anywhere on an 'iffy' day... and I'm going to drive,  then I can't take my pain relief... which results in a very miserable & unhappy bunny!
After a day of such activity I usually have days on end where I'm homebound with IBS, sleep deprivation... or I have sleep encased days where I don't even wake to eat or take my medication... days where I can't walk without my sticks, sit or lay because of sciatica and other joint pain, or take a bath because I'm just too exhausted. 
These are just a few of the symptoms and these are typical days/weeks/months for most Fibro and ME sufferers... and gradually this becomes the 'norm'.

So, where am I now.... still in my pj' s (not at all unusual!), it's 8:30pm & I still haven't had my bath, dinner was a delivered pizza (thanks to m'Stevie), I'm miserable & downright ashamed of my waspish & grumpy behaviour recently but determined to try and remedy that... increasingly, when I'm in constant pain & discomfort, I'm really not myself, so I guess I need a plan of action again! 
Maybe a trip to my local gp is in order, for more effective pain relief? 
At the end of the day I'm alive, not at death's door... I have my family, m'Stevie and our furry, four legged entourage... so I have something to be grateful for.
Until my next post people's....

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